Ever Wren, The Unscripted SoulStart free
All letters

Letter 10 of 11. Identity, Self-trust

Ever Wren

Dear Not Victim, Not Survivor

to: the woman writing her own ending

Dear Labels: I Will Not Keep You (Victim & Survivor)You have both knocked at my door,offering me your nameslike badges of honor or scars to wear.Dear Victim—you first entered my life quietly,slipping in through the cracks of pain,offered by others who thought they were naming truth.You whispered that I was powerless,that my life must be measuredby what was done to me.But I know your truth:you are a chainthat keeps me circling the harm,a shadow that feeds on blame.I will not wear you.Dear Survivor—you came after,spoken like a medal I was supposed to pin to my chest,a title meant to honor what I endured.You arrive cloaked in strength,promising resilience,promising triumph.But I see the cost of you too:to survive is to keep living in the aftermath,forever tied to the storm I walked through.I honor you, but I will not keep you.And what about the other labelyou so easily want to cast—to make me a reflection of his brokenness?But this is a label I will not bear.Nor will I cast him as a monster,only a man lost in his patterns,trapped in woundshe either cannot or will not heal.That is his prison.It is not mine.Oh Victim, oh Survivor,how you want to cling to me,to make me carry your weight,to keep me tethered to the past.But I will not live by your shadows,nor let you write my story.And so, I pause here.Because I know these names—Victim, Survivor—hold meaning for others.They mark the weight of what was endured,the truth of battles no one chose.And I respect and honor thosewho carry these namesfor what they had no choice but to endure.But for me, they do not belong.I was not powerless,though I was caught in a cycle.I still had a choice—a choice I eventually made.And so these words,with all the weight they carry,cannot be the ones I claim.Without them, I am free to choose a different way.A way not bound to the wound,nor tethered to the shadows of what was done.My life will be shaped not by labels,but by how I live it—by sharing what I’ve learned,by supporting others in their pain,by being a safe placefor those who were silenced,dismissed,or unseen.If I must wear a name,let it be that:a keeper of space,a voice of witness,a reminder that healing is possible.So let it be known—these are the names I choose to carry,the names of giving back.This is the line I draw.This is where I let you go.So listen closely, all of you:I release you.I am not Victim.I am not Survivor.He does not define me.I am simply—me.A soul still shaping,a witness to my own becoming,a creator of meaning from the pieces,a woman who carries her storyso others may find strength in theirs.I will not live in your names.I will live in my own.

Scripted Truths

The layer underneath

Chapter one

Author's Notes

This letter was born from a session with one of my most trusted hypnotherapists, Dr. Michael Glock, creator of Joymind.com—a resource I turned to in the early days of my healing and still utilize today. His words struck me in a way I’ll never forget. He told me, “I want so much for you to release this, so this is not the story you keep telling over and over. Yes, you can have this story—but don’t claim it. Don’t live in pain over it. Move through it.”

That moment shifted something deep inside me. It was the day I realized that not only the names and labels, but also the stories we attach to ourselves after trauma, can hold us captive. Victim. Survivor. To me, victim keeps you chained to the harm. Survivor keeps you tethered to the fight. Both keep your identity orbiting around the wound. What I longed for was release—to move from reaction into creation, to build a life not defined by the storm but by what I chose to grow from its aftermath.

My healing has come through journaling and letter writing; for others it may be found in nature, in art, in movement, or in breath. However it comes, healing begins when we stop orbiting around the harm and choose instead to create from its aftermath. That was the start of one of the hardest yet most beautiful journeys forward: refusing to let pain be the name I live under. I am not what was done to me. I am not the words others might place upon me. I will not live in your names. I will live in my own.

*Joymind.com connects clients with certified hypnotherapists, trained in science-based techniques through HMI, America’s first nationally accredited college of hypnotherapy.